Courage

When I was first told of my condition, I was quite fearful of what my limited future hold.

Today I walked past that fear, thanks to many support I received inside and outside of the healthcare facility. To accept that certain things cannot be changed, I'd had to change my outlook about life and the limits that now resides with me.

I cried in silence initially because of the fear of undergoing what seemed an uncertain future, I also cried about my dilemma, the lonelinest of fighting this battle alone, the legacy and pain I leave behind for my family annd many regrets.

I had many talks with friends who couldn't understand my situation, their sharings only come with much unrealistic advice (because they never went through major complications before). I tried to take solace in writing, drawing, poetry, music, and eventually even just shutting myself out. No matter what I do I could not numb that underlying fear.

In the end I had to confide with a pyshcologist, that helped a bit, and then I accepted my condition for what it is and decided not to let it put me into depressive state. It wasn't easy, I had to convince myself that limited or not, my destiny is not fixed, I may not be able to do many of the things I dreamt of doing or having anymore, but I was determined to better my situation by not giving up on myself or that of attaining a pseudo-normal life.

I wasn't going to pretend, I wanted to help myself and others instead.

Today I can say I no longer carry that fear anymore, but instead a sense of duty and responsibility to help other patients instead. Maybe it isn't a great story to inspire you to put that fear away, but I hope to tell you - Don't let your fears control you, learn to deal with it and your situation.

It's okay to be scared, but you got to work it out somehow.

If you need someone to share your fear, especially someone who has gone through the same situation as you or I, you call reach out to me, and hopefully we can try to find a way for you too.